Sunday, May 1, 2011

Chastity check-in, 3.5 weeks

To bring people up to date and clarify things for myself: I decided to sign up for another month of chastity. The reasons for my chastity still remain. “Chastity” may not be the correct term for it. An intense form of come control would be more accurate. I mean, the defining quality of this arrangement is that I am not allowed to get myself off, nor play with myself while unlocked.

Chastity affects my temper and mood.

As enthusiastic and optimistic as I’ve been and may have seemed online at times, this was actually in question. On Friday Apr 29th, I was in a rather foul mood. Those who follow my twitter feed may have noticed that I was seriously questioning continuing the endeavor.

My libido had crashed, I was irritable, even had a slight headache and a minor anxiety attack. Very little things became huge, crushing, insurmountable problems. Thankfully, this is not my first time at the rodeo, as it were. I know from past experience that chastity does a number on my emotions at times. The build-up of testosterone from not getting off and the change in routine can really try me.

To further accentuate my mental agitation, this is the first time I’ve done a chastity regimen with a device that lasted more than a two or three days. This is the first time that I’ve had a prolonged period of not jerking off as the result of a device which I could not readily remove. That can be rather frustrating.

I ended up cancelling a play date that I had on Friday night because of all of the above plus the stress of a 2 hour traffic-hell commute home. However, after getting sufficient sleep on Friday night, I felt much better. When I woke up Saturday in the better mood is when I made the decision to sign up for more.

Other thoughts

Despite having a keyholder that’s local and a husband who’s several states away (temporarily), I still find myself wanting a master of some sort. I still need to write my thoughts on the matter. However, someone has already a very good post on the topic of Masters, slaves, and slavery which expresses many of my views on the topic. I don’t think I found anything I disagree with in it.

Check out Cager, aka BerlinQueer’s blog entry on 24/7 Slavery. He's another man I've not met partially because I'm intimidated, partially because I didn't want to waste his time and partially because I don't think he was in town the one time I was in Berlin and able to play freely.

1 comment:

  1. We should talk some.. I'm a quick drive away from you now ;)